Candlelight Service Added in December

I will be leading a Christmas Candlelight Service on Sunday, December 18th at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler. The service will begin at 6pm at the church located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida. For more information call the church at (386) 496-3704.

Back to the Pulpit

It has been four weeks since my heart bypass surgery and I'm excited to announce I will soon be back in the pulpit preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been asked to speak during the Christmas Day service at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler (my home church). The service will begin at 10am on December 25th. The church is located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida.

English

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The landfill was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep

The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation......
The thought of a snack became infatuation.....

So I raced to the kitchen, Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!

I crashed through the ceiling. Floating into the sky....
With a mouthfull of pudding and a handful of pie,

But I managed to yell as I sored past the trees....................

HAPPY EATING TO ALL!! PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!

(Author Unknown)

Let's Talk Turkey

I thought this article about true stories from "turkey cooking hotlines" was interesting and quite timely too.

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/thanksgiving/turkey.asp

Home For Thanksgiving

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like Heck they're getting a divorce, she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, smiles and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Doctor Update

I returned yesterday for my first appointment with my surgeon since my my heart bypass surgery on November 3rd and received a very good report. Everything is healing nicely and I'm doing great! I will be able to drive again late next week and return to work on a very limited schedule soon after that. I was told there is no damage to my heart and that it is "very" strong! Praise the Lord!

God certainly deserves all of the credit for my recovery!

The Great Turkey Escape

Check out "Farmer Giblet's Turkey Farm" game: http://www.ezone.com/games/turkey3d/

Thanksgiving Humor

These are some really bad Thanksgiving day jokes & riddles. I hope you enjoy them.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

Turkey in the Straw

This is a neat Flash animation with music.

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1796513126

Recovery Update

Today I will begin adding daily posts to this blog again. I also want to update you on my recovery progress so that God receives the glory because He most certainly deserves it!

I am becoming stronger with each new day. I still get tired after long walks, but even that is decreasing. I have really not had any pain through this entire process. I haven't taken any pain medicine since November 10th. I came home from the hospital on November 8th.

I have been attending some church services. The first Sunday at home (Nov. 13th) I attended First Baptist Church of Olustee (near my home) and yesterday I attended my home church, First Baptist of Lake Butler.

I have my first doctor visit tomorrow with the surgeon. I'm sure I will learn more info about future activities during this visit.

I believe the Lord will have me back in His service very soon as He is working mightily during this recovery!

Thank you all for your prayers, cards, e-mails and visits. I pray that God blesses each of you for your encouragement during this time.

The "Heart" of the Matter

I must begin this post by saying, “I thank the Lord that I am able to deliver this post!” The reason is, I have just returned from a 7-night “vacation” in Alachua General Hospital in Gainesville, Florida.

I went to the Emergency Room Tuesday afternoon (Nov. 1st) with chest pains. A Heart Catheterization was performed on Wednesday, which revealed three blockages needed immediate attention. The open- heart bypass surgery took place on Thursday morning with successful results. I returned home on Tuesday (Nov. 8th). To God be the glory!!!

I have so many examples of how the Lord had total control over the situation, even though, I must confess, that I had some fears of what lay ahead. The right doctors, nurses and staff were in place at the exact moment they were needed. A dear Christian friend was the Charge Nurse of the Surgical Intensive Care Unit where I was located for a few days. The nurse assigned to me during that time is a Christian. Once moved to a regular room I found one of the nurses (a Christian) had been present during a revival meeting last year. One of my closest friend’s daughter (a Christian that has been brought through many heart procedures) is also on the hospital staff and visited regularly. There were also many other opportunities to share Jesus and exchange testimonies. God also took care of the scheduling issues in that only two preaching engagements remained before the end of the year. He lessened the financial burden with co-workers donating part of their sick leave so that I may still receive payment from my secular employer (since my leave has long been exhausted). I could go on and on giving praise to the Lord for all He brought about over the past two weeks.

There are so many people that I would love to thank in this note, but I’m afraid I would leave someone out, and there are many that I do not know their names at all. I received so many telephone calls leaving messages with hospital staff as well as many visiting me during my stay.

To all of the family, friends, churches, co-workers in the Lord’s Work, co-workers at New River Solid Waste Association, and those that I don’t even know of that prayed for me, your prayers were heard and much appreciated.

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,” – Phil 1:3

God bless you,

James