Saturday, December 31, 2005

Breakable

There was a very gracious lady who was mailing an old family Bible to her brother in another part of the country.

"Is there anything breakable in here?" asked the postal clerk.

"Only the Ten Commandments," answered the lady.

Friday, December 30, 2005

Podcast On The Way

This ministry will be launching a Podcast very soon. Keep checking here for details!

Rules

I found some of these funny, some interesting, and some just apparently filling space.

1. If you are choking on an ice cube, don't panic! Simply pour a cup ofboiling water down your throat and presto! The blockage will be almost instantly removed.
2. Clumsy? Avoid cutting yourself while slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold them while you chop away.
3. Avoid arguments with the Mrs. about lifting the toilet seat by simply using the sink.
4. For high blood pressure sufferers: just cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins.
5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.
6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.
7. Have a bad toothache? Smash your thumb with a hammer and you will forget about the toothache.
8. You only need two tools: WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use the duct tape.
9. Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.
10. Never pass up an opportunity to go to the bathroom.
11. If you woke up breathing, congratulations! You get another chance.
12. And finally, be really nice to your family and friends, you never know when you might need them to empty your bedpan.

Thursday, December 29, 2005

1-800-FREE411

I just learned of a new telephone information directory service that is FREE; although, you do have to listen to a 10 second advertisement. All you do is dial 1-800-FREE411 (1-800-373-3411. There is also a free website that you can utilize, http://www.free411.com/index.htm.

This link takes you directly to the search page: http://www.free411.com/searchresults.php?searchtype=2. The web searches include: "Find a Person", "Find a Business" (by name), "Find a Business" (by category), and "Search by Phone Number".

We live in a time when a lot of information can be accessed via the World Wide Web. It's kind of scary isn't it?

Wednesday, December 28, 2005

Kingbi Called as Elder

Evangelist Raphael Adjei Kingbi (Evangelist Ralph) has been called as an Elder in Paola Memorial Presbyterian Church in Teshie, Ghana, West Africa. Evangelist Ralph is the youngest man ever called to serve as Elder in this church.

Ralph serves the Lord as an evangelist in the Greater Accra Metropolitan Region of Ghana, but during the past year his ministry has moved into other Regions of Ghana.

I came to know Evangelist Ralph early in 2002 when he called to issue an invitation to lead the "Gathering of the Clouds" Crusade later that year. Since that time I have made three trips to Ghana (2002, 2003, & 2004) to preach the Gospel. Evangelist Ralph coordinated each of the trips' activities in Teshie with Zion Evangelistic Ministry (an organization with which he served as Director).

Evangelist Ralph now also serves as Ghana Coordinator for the ministries of the James Croft Evangelistic Association.

Monday, December 26, 2005

Friendship Baptist Valentine Banquet

I will be the guest speaker at the Youth Valentine Banquet at Friendship Baptist Church on Saturday, February 11, 2006. For more information call Minister of Youth Bill Lawhon at (386) 776-1418. Friendship Baptist Church is located at 14364 140th St. near Live Oak, Florida.

Sunday, December 25, 2005

First Six Letters

The most important part of Christmas is the first six letters: CHRIST-mas!

Saturday, December 24, 2005

A Christmas Card For You





















(click on text and photo to enlarge)

Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, who has blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly places in Christ, (Ephesians 1:2 NKJV)

Merry Christmas!!!

Friday, December 23, 2005

Christmas Cartoons


I received these cartoons via e-mail and got a laugh out of them, so I thought I would share them with you.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

Interactive Card

Here is a nice interactive Christmas card: http://holidays.blastcomm.com/holidays03.html.

Christmas Day Service

I will be preaching at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler at 10am on Christmas Day. We will not be holding Sunday School and will have an abbreviated morning worship service. This will be the first time in my ministry of preaching on Christmas Day.

First Baptist Church is located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida.

Please attend the Bible teaching church of your choice this Sunday!

Wednesday, December 21, 2005

Gadara Baptist in January

I have been asked to preach in supply for Interim Pastor Jerry Gessell, Sr. in January at Gadara Baptist Church. I will be preaching the morning service (11am) and the evening service (6pm) on Sunday, January 8, 2006.

Gadara Baptist Church is located at 6779 CR 315C in Keystone Heights, Florida. For more info call the church at (352) 473-3615. Please remember to pray for this church as they seek the pastor the Lord has chosen for them.

Deck the House

Check out "Deck the House": http://www.powerpres.com/xmascard03.html.

Monday, December 19, 2005

Sharon Baptist in January

I will be preaching the 5th Sunday Morning Worship Service at Sharon Baptist Church on January 29, 2006. A gospel sing will be held at 10am with the preaching service beginning at 11am. Dinner-on-the-grounds will also be held after the morning service.

Sharon Baptist Church is located at 5584 Sharon Road in Green Cove Springs, Florida.

Christmas Word Search

Check out this online Christmas Word Search: http://wandascountryhome.com/christmas/wordgame/

Sunday, December 18, 2005

Candlelight Service Photos

Here are some photos from tonight's Christmas Candlelight Service at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler, Florida.




(Left) Children accompanied by their parents lit 8 different candles during the service. Each candle represented a part of the Scripture reading for the service.









(Right) During the reading of Isaiah 53:3-8 a physically weakened & bleeding Jesus entered the church struggling under the weight of His cross.









(Left) After the reading of Matthew 5:14-16 the congregation's candles were lit by the deacons.
















(Left) The sanctuary was aglow with the congregation's candles.












(Left) The congregation exited the sanctuary singing "Joy To The World" and formed a circle on the church courtyard with candles glowing. This is our commitment to let our light shine before all people.





The photos were taken by Jon M. Fletcher. You can view more of Jon's photography at www.jonmfletcher.com and on my website, www.jamescroft.org, in the Ghana Photo Galleries.

Candlelight Service Tonight


I will be leading a Christmas Candlelight Service tonight at 6pm at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler. The service will feature congregational & special music, drama and the Christmas Story from the Word of God. It will be a wonderful time of worship and a great reminder that Jesus is the reason for the season!

First Baptist Church is located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida.

Why Water?

The Sunday school teacher was carefully explaining the story of Elijah the Prophet and the false prophets of Baal.

She explained how Elijah built the altar, put wood upon it, cut the steer in pieces, and laid it upon the altar. And then, Elijah commanded the people of God to fill four barrels of water and pour it over the altar. He had them do this four times.

"Now," said the teacher, "can anyone in the class tell me why the Lord would have Elijah pour water over the steer on the altar?"

A little girl in the back of the room started waving her hand, "I know, I know," she said, "to make the gravy!"

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Bubble Wrap

Do you like to pop the little bubbles on a piece of bubble wrap? Well, now you can pop away right at your computer. Check it out here: http://www.urban75.com/Mag/bubble.html.

Friday, December 16, 2005

Candlelight Service Sunday Night

I will be leading a Christmas Candlelight Service this Sunday night at 6pm at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler. The service will feature congregational & special music, drama and the Christmas Story from the Word of God. It will be a wonderful time of worship and a great reminder that Jesus is the reason for the season!

First Baptist Church is located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida. For more information call the church office at (386) 496-3704.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

Christmas Love

Now THIS is what it's all about!! Merry Christmas!

Each December, I vowed to make Christmas a calm and peaceful experience. I
had cut back on nonessential obligations - extensive card writing, endless
baking, decorating and even overspending. Yet, still, I found myself
exhausted, unable to appreciate the precious family moments and of course,
the true meaning of Christmas.

My son, Nicholas, was in kindergarten that year. It was an exciting season
for a six year old. For weeks, he'd been memorizing songs for his school's
"Winter Pageant". I didn't have the heart to tell him I'd be working the
night of the production. Unwilling to miss his shining moment, I spoke with
his teacher. She assured me there'd be a dress rehearsal the morning of the
presentation. All Parents unable to attend that evening were welcome to come
then. Fortunately, Nicholas seemed happy with the compromise.

So, the morning of the dress rehearsal, I filed in ten minutes early, found
a spot on the cafeteria floor and sat down. Around the room, I saw several
other parents quietly scampering to their seats. As I waited, the students
were led into the room. Each class, accompanied by their teacher, sat
cross-legged on the floor. Then, each group, one by one, rose to perform
their song. Because the public school system had long stopped referring to
the holiday as "Christmas", I didn't expect anything other than fun
commercial entertainment - songs of reindeer,
Santa Claus, snowflakes , and good cheer.

So, when my son's class rose to sing, "Christmas Love," I was slightly taken
aback by its bold title. Nicholas was aglow, as were all of his classmates,
adorned in fuzzy mittens, red sweaters and bright snowcaps upon their heads.
Those in the front row - center stage - held up large letters, one by one,
to spell out the title of the song. As the class would sing "C is for
Christmas, " a child would hold up the letter C. Then, "H is for Happy,"
and on and on, until each child holding up his portion had presented the
complete message, "Christmas Love."

The performance was going smoothly, until suddenly, we noticed her a small,
quiet girl in the front row holding the letter "M" upside down - totally
unaware her letter "M" appeared as a "W". The audience of the 1st through
6th graders snickered at this little one's mistake, but she had no idea they
were laughing at her, so she stood tall, proudly holding her "W". Although
many teachers tried to shush the children, the laughter continued until the
last letter was raised, and we all saw it together.

A hush came over the audience and eyes began to widen. In an instant, we
understood the reason we were there, why we celebrated the holiday in the
first place, why even in the chaos, there was a purpose for our festivities.
For when the last letter was held high, the message read loud and clear:

"C H R I S T W A S L O V E"

"Love Banquet" Added to Schedule

I will be the guest speaker for the "Love Banquet" at Lake Forest Baptist Church on Sunday, February 12, 2006 at 5pm. For more information call Pastor Charles Biggs at (352) 378-1100. Lake Forest Baptist Church is located at 5121 East University Ave. in Gainesville, Florida.

Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Christmas Card

This is a cute interactive Christmas card: http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=0212320003.

Tuesday, December 13, 2005

Pastor Moves to Georgia

My pastor, Rusty Womack, has accepted the call to a new church in Georgia. This past Sunday was his last day at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler, Florida. He will begin at Rehoboth Baptist Church near Atlanta on January 1, 2006.

During Pastor Rusty's time in Lake Butler we have seen many souls saved, many hearts changed and rapid growth in our services. God has certainly used him in a mighty way over the past three years.

I personally have mixed emotions about his departure. James the evangelist rejoices that God has found him faithful and now is moving him to new challenges. James the member of FBC Lake Butler is saddened at the loss of my pastor. I do know that God has never let us down and He will not start now. The Lord already has a man picked out for our church and I believe that exciting times are just around the bend!

I want to wish Rusty and his family all the best in their relocation and in the new ministry that God has led them to.

I ask each of you, as well as the members of both FBC Lake Butler and Rehoboth Baptist, to pray for the Womack family during their relocation and for each other as both churches will be in a time of transition. Remember, God still works during a church's time of transition too. Our God is certainly an awesome God!!!

Christmas Snowglobe

Check out this animated Christmas snowglobe: http://ww12.e-tractions.com/snowglobe/globe.htm.

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Philippi Baptist Tomorrow

I will be preaching the morning worship (11am) and evening worship (7pm) services at Philippi Baptist Church tomorrow, Sunday, December 11th. Philippi Baptist is located on CR18 east of US441 south of Lake City & Ellisville in the community of Mikesville.

Please be in prayer for these services.

Have You Ever Felt This Way?

I think everyone has felt like this at one time in our life. This is a letter that was supposedly sent to a bank after the customer's check bounced.

Dear Sir:

I am writing to thank you for bouncing my check with which I endeavored to pay my plumber last month. By my calculations, three nanoseconds must have elapsed between his presenting the check and the arrival in my account of the funds needed to honor it. I refer, of course, to the automatic monthly deposit of my entire salary, an arrangement which, I admit, has only been in place for eight years.

You are to be commended for seizing that brief window of opportunity, and also for debiting my account $50 by way of penalty for the inconvenience caused to your bank. My thankfulness springs from the manner in which this incident has caused me to rethink my errant financial ways.

I noticed that whereas I personally attend to your telephone calls and letters, when I try to contact you, I am confronted by the impersonal, overcharging, prerecorded faceless entity which your bank has become.

From now on, I, like you, choose only to deal with a flesh-and-blood person. My mortgage and loan repayments will, therefore and hereafter, no longer be automatic, but will arrive at your bank, by check, addressed personally and confidentially to an employee at your bank whom you must nominate.

Be aware that it is an offense under the Postal Act for any other person to open such an envelope. Please find attached an Application Contact Status which I require your chosen employee to complete.

I am sorry it runs to eight pages, but in order that I know as much about him or her as your bank knows about me, there is no alternative. Please note that all copies of his or her medical history must be countersigned by a Notary Public, and the mandatory details of his/her financial situation (income, debts, assets and liabilities) must be accompanied by documented proof.

In due course, I will issue your employee with a PIN number which he/she must quote in dealings with me. I regret that it cannot be shorter than 28 digits but, again, I have modeled it on the number of button presses required to access my account balance on your phone bank service. As they say, imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

Let me level the playing field even further. Press buttons as follows:

1.- To make an appointment to see me.
2.- To query a missing payment.
3.- To transfer the call to my living room in case I am there.
4.- To transfer the call to my bedroom in case I am sleeping.
5. -To transfer the call to my toilet in case I am attending to nature.
6.- To transfer the call to my mobile phone if I am not at home.
7.- To leave a message on my computer, a password to access my computer is required. Password will be communicated at a later date to the Authorized Contact.
8. To return to the main menu and to listen to options 1 through 7.
9. To make a general complaint or inquiry.

The contact will then be put on hold, pending the attention of my automated answering service. While this may, on occasion, involve a lengthy wait, uplifting music will play for the duration of the call.

Regrettably, but again following your example, I must also levy an establishment fee to cover the setting up of this new arrangement.

May I wish you a happy, if ever-so-slightly less prosperous New Year?

Your Humble Client

Friday, December 09, 2005

Bank Loan

A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.

"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."

Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name. The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.

Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.

The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.

Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.

She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."

She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"

The bank manager looks back at her and says..."It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan. His old man's a Rolling Stone."

(You're singing it, aren't you? Yeah, I know you are........)

Thursday, December 08, 2005

Christmas Quiz

Here's a fun Christmas Quiz that you might find interesting: http://www.quizland.com/f2quiz.mv?f18+NOMUSIC.

I scored a 161 and rank #16 on the score list. Let me know how you do.

Cool Animation

This is a cool animation with sound that you might enjoy: http://www.lifetalk.net/2ndcoming/ee.html.

Share it with others.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

Wit or Wisdom?

  • I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.
  • Gardening Rule: When weeding, the best way to make sure you are removing a weed and not a valuable plant is to pull on it. If it comes out of the ground easily, it is a valuable plant.
  • The easiest way to find something lost around the house is to buy a replacement.
  • Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in hospitals dying of nothing.
  • Whenever I feel blue, I start breathing.
  • All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism.
  • How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
  • Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs!
  • If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?
  • If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
  • Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
  • Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?
  • Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
  • Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?
  • Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Tuesday, December 06, 2005

Philippi Baptist Added to Schedule

I have added Phiippi Baptist Church to my preaching schedule for this Sunday, December 11th. I will be preaching the 11am & 7pm services for Pastor Carl Chauncey. The church is located on CR18 east of US441, south of Lake City & Ellisville at Mikesville, Florida.

Please be in prayer for these services.

Monday, December 05, 2005

What an anniversary!

I had been saying that whenever the Lord placed it upon someone's heart to call me with a preaching engagement that He would be letting me know that I was physically ready to return to the pulpit. Yesterday (Dec. 4th.) was my first time to preach the Gospel since my heart bypass surgery on November 3rd. I preached the 11am worship service at Grace Baptist Church in Gainesville, Florida. I must say that God blessed me during the service.

I was a little tired at the end of the service, but nothing like I have been over the past 4 weeks after taking long walks. I had no pain during the message at all and I was able to move freely. I did notice my voice becoming slightly hoarse toward the end of the message. This could be that I haven't been speaking that loudly the past few weeks. 8-)

A friend was present that has heard me preach before and told me that I sounded almost 100%. Our God certainly is an awesome God!!!

When I began the message I shared my testimony of how the Lord brought me through the past few weeks. As I mentioned the date of December 4th I remembered that it was on Sunday, December 4, 1994 that I publicly surrendered to preach the Gospel. I was also licensed that same night by First Baptist Church of Olustee, Florida.

What an exciting way to celebrate my anniversary of a life changing decision to enter the Lord's ministry - returning again to His service after a life changing (& saving) surgery!!!

What an anniversary! Praise God from Whom all blessings flow!!!

Saturday, December 03, 2005

The Great Escape

Nine year old Joey, was asked by his mother what he had learned in Sunday school. "Well, Mom, our teacher told us how God sent Moses behind enemy lines on a rescue mission to lead the Israelites out of Egypt. When he got to the Red Sea, he had his engineers build a pontoon bridge and all the people walked across safely. Then, he used his walkie-talkie to radio headquarters for reinforcements. They sent bombers to blow up the bridge and all the Israelites were saved."

"Now, Joey, is that really what your teacher taught you?" his mother asked.

"Well, no, Mom. But, if I told it the way the teacher did, you'd never believe it!"

Friday, December 02, 2005

Sunday School Humor

LOT'S WIFE

The Sunday School teacher was describing how Lot's wife looked back and turned into a pillar of salt, when little Johnny interrupted, "My Mummy looked back once, while she was DRIVING," he announced triumphantly, "and she turned into a telephone pole!"


DID NOAH FISH?

A Sunday school teacher asked, "Johnny, do you think Noah did a lot of fishing when he was on the Ark?"

"No," replied Johnny. "How could he, with just two worms."


HIGHER POWER

A Sunday school teacher said to her children, "We have been learning how powerful kings and queens were in Bible times. But, there is a higher power. Can anybody tell me what it is?"

One child blurted out, "Aces!"

Thursday, December 01, 2005

Grace Baptist on Sunday

I will be preaching the 11am Worship Service at Grace Baptist Church on Sunday, December 4th. The church is located at 7100 NW 39th Ave. in Gainesville, Florida. For more information call the church office at (352) 374-4748.

This will be my first time back in the pulpit since I had heart bypass surgery on November 3rd. I'm trusting the Lord to provide the physical and spiritual strength needed to carry out His work. Please be in prayer for this service.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Candlelight Service Added in December

I will be leading a Christmas Candlelight Service on Sunday, December 18th at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler. The service will begin at 6pm at the church located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida. For more information call the church at (386) 496-3704.

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Back to the Pulpit

It has been four weeks since my heart bypass surgery and I'm excited to announce I will soon be back in the pulpit preaching the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been asked to speak during the Christmas Day service at First Baptist Church of Lake Butler (my home church). The service will begin at 10am on December 25th. The church is located at 195 East Main Street in Lake Butler, Florida.

English

Can you read these right the first time?

1) The bandage was wound around the wound.
2) The farm was used to produce produce.
3) The landfill was so full that it had to refuse more refuse.
4) We must polish the Polish furniture.
5) He could lead if he would get the lead out.
6) The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
7) Since there is no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
8) A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum
9) When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
10) I did not object to the object.
11) The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
12) There was a row among the oarsmen about how to row.
13) They were too close to the door to close it.
14) The buck does funny things when the does are present.
15) A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
16) To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
17) The wind was too strong to wind the sail.
18) Upon seeing the tear in the painting I shed a tear.
19) I had to subject the subject to a series of tests.
20) How can I intimate this to my most intimate friend?

Friday, November 25, 2005

Twas The Night Of Thanksgiving

Twas the night of Thanksgiving, But I just couldn't sleep.
I tried counting backwards, I tried counting sheep

The leftovers beckoned --- The dark meat and white,
But I fought the temptation with all of my might.

Tossing and turning with anticipation......
The thought of a snack became infatuation.....

So I raced to the kitchen, Flung open the door,
And gazed at the fridge full of goodies galore.

I gobbled up turkey and buttered potatoes,
Pickles and carrots, beans and tomatoes.

I felt myself swelling so plump and so round,
Till all of a sudden, I rose off the ground!!

I crashed through the ceiling. Floating into the sky....
With a mouthfull of pudding and a handful of pie,

But I managed to yell as I sored past the trees....................

HAPPY EATING TO ALL!! PASS THE CRANBERRIES PLEASE!!

(Author Unknown)

Thursday, November 24, 2005

Let's Talk Turkey

I thought this article about true stories from "turkey cooking hotlines" was interesting and quite timely too.

http://www.snopes.com/holidays/thanksgiving/turkey.asp

Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Home For Thanksgiving

An elderly man in Phoenix calls his son in New York and says, "I hate to ruin your day, but I have to tell you that your mother and I are divorcing; forty-five years of misery is enough."

"Pop, what are you talking about," the son screams.

"We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,"the old man says. "We're sick and tired of each other, and I'm sick of talking about this, so you call your sister in Chicago and tell her." And he hangs up.

Frantic, the son calls his sister, who explodes on the phone.

"Like Heck they're getting a divorce, she shouts. "I'll take care of this."

She calls Phoenix immediately, and screams at the old man, "You are NOT getting divorced! Don't do a single thing until I get there. I'm calling my brother back and we'll both be there tomorrow. Until then don't do a thing, DO YOU HEAR ME?" And she hangs up.

The old man hangs up his phone, smiles and turns to his wife. "They're coming for Thanksgiving and paying their own way."

Doctor Update

I returned yesterday for my first appointment with my surgeon since my my heart bypass surgery on November 3rd and received a very good report. Everything is healing nicely and I'm doing great! I will be able to drive again late next week and return to work on a very limited schedule soon after that. I was told there is no damage to my heart and that it is "very" strong! Praise the Lord!

God certainly deserves all of the credit for my recovery!

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

The Great Turkey Escape

Check out "Farmer Giblet's Turkey Farm" game: http://www.ezone.com/games/turkey3d/

Thanksgiving Humor

These are some really bad Thanksgiving day jokes & riddles. I hope you enjoy them.

Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside

Why did they let the turkey join the band?
Because he had the drumsticks

How did the Mayflower show that it liked America?
It hugged the shore

Why did the police arrest the turkey?
They suspected it of fowl play.

A turkey farmer was always experimenting with breeding to perfect a better turkey. His family was fond of the leg portion for dinner and there were never enough legs for everyone. After many frustrating attempts, the farmer was relating the results of his efforts to his friends at the general store get together. "Well I finally did it! I bred a turkey that has 6 legs!"
They all asked the farmer how it tasted.
"I don't know" said the farmer. "I never could catch the darn thing!"

What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?
Plymouth Rock

What did the turkey say before it was roasted?
Boy! I'm stuffed!

If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!

Why do turkeys always go, "gobble, gobble"?
Because they never learned good table manners!

Monday, November 21, 2005

Turkey in the Straw

This is a neat Flash animation with music.

http://www.jacquielawson.com/viewcard.asp?code=1796513126

Recovery Update

Today I will begin adding daily posts to this blog again. I also want to update you on my recovery progress so that God receives the glory because He most certainly deserves it!

I am becoming stronger with each new day. I still get tired after long walks, but even that is decreasing. I have really not had any pain through this entire process. I haven't taken any pain medicine since November 10th. I came home from the hospital on November 8th.

I have been attending some church services. The first Sunday at home (Nov. 13th) I attended First Baptist Church of Olustee (near my home) and yesterday I attended my home church, First Baptist of Lake Butler.

I have my first doctor visit tomorrow with the surgeon. I'm sure I will learn more info about future activities during this visit.

I believe the Lord will have me back in His service very soon as He is working mightily during this recovery!

Thank you all for your prayers, cards, e-mails and visits. I pray that God blesses each of you for your encouragement during this time.

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

The "Heart" of the Matter

I must begin this post by saying, “I thank the Lord that I am able to deliver this post!” The reason is, I have just returned from a 7-night “vacation” in Alachua General Hospital in Gainesville, Florida.

I went to the Emergency Room Tuesday afternoon (Nov. 1st) with chest pains. A Heart Catheterization was performed on Wednesday, which revealed three blockages needed immediate attention. The open- heart bypass surgery took place on Thursday morning with successful results. I returned home on Tuesday (Nov. 8th). To God be the glory!!!

I have so many examples of how the Lord had total control over the situation, even though, I must confess, that I had some fears of what lay ahead. The right doctors, nurses and staff were in place at the exact moment they were needed. A dear Christian friend was the Charge Nurse of the Surgical Intensive Care Unit where I was located for a few days. The nurse assigned to me during that time is a Christian. Once moved to a regular room I found one of the nurses (a Christian) had been present during a revival meeting last year. One of my closest friend’s daughter (a Christian that has been brought through many heart procedures) is also on the hospital staff and visited regularly. There were also many other opportunities to share Jesus and exchange testimonies. God also took care of the scheduling issues in that only two preaching engagements remained before the end of the year. He lessened the financial burden with co-workers donating part of their sick leave so that I may still receive payment from my secular employer (since my leave has long been exhausted). I could go on and on giving praise to the Lord for all He brought about over the past two weeks.

There are so many people that I would love to thank in this note, but I’m afraid I would leave someone out, and there are many that I do not know their names at all. I received so many telephone calls leaving messages with hospital staff as well as many visiting me during my stay.

To all of the family, friends, churches, co-workers in the Lord’s Work, co-workers at New River Solid Waste Association, and those that I don’t even know of that prayed for me, your prayers were heard and much appreciated.

“I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,” – Phil 1:3

God bless you,

James

Monday, October 31, 2005

The Rope

I received this link in an e-mail today. It is an interesting story with photos too.

http://www.ticz.com/homes/users/bob/The-Rope/The-Rope.htm

Saturday, October 29, 2005

New Life Baptist Homecoming

I will be preaching the Homecoming Service for New Life Baptist Church tomorrow (Sunday, October 30th) at 11am. The church is located at 3625 Woodville Highway in Tallahassee, Florida.

Please be in prayer for my travel and for the service.

Also, don't forget to turn your clock back one hour tonight as Daylight Savings Time comes to an end! An extra hour of sleep will be nice.

Friday, October 28, 2005

Thanksgiving Greeting Card

Here's an early Thanksgiving greeting card that will make you chuckle (or laugh).

http://www.msn.americangreetings.com/view.pd?i=382219626&m=1652&rr=y&sou

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Doctors & Pastors

I received this in an e-mail and thought I would share it with you.

Ten differences between the Doctor and the Pastor:

  1. The Doctor says, "Please disrobe" and you do it without question. The Pastor preaches that you should dress modestly and he is getting too personal.
  2. The Doctor charges hefty fees and you complain but you come back the next time you are sick. The Pastor preaches that you should pay your tithes and you leave the church.
  3. The Doctor checks how much you weigh and you allow him. The Pastor asks how much you pray and it's none of his business.
  4. The Doctor gives you a nasty tasting pill and you take it. The Pastor feeds you the Word and you say "no thank you."
  5. The Doctor's office closes at a certain time. The Pastor is to be available twenty-four hours a day.
  6. The Doctor tells you how to change your lifestyle to lower your blood pressure. The Pastor tells you how to change your lifestyle and it raises your blood pressure.
  7. The Doctor tells you "we need to run more tests," so you make an appointment. The Pastor says "we need more Prayer Meetings and Bible Studies" and you are too busy.
  8. The Doctor says, "There is nothing more we can do", and you search high and low for one who can help. The Pastor says, "God can help you", and you give up and say "What's the use."
  9. The Doctor says, "Try this and see if it works and if it doesn't we'll try something else", so you do. The Pastor gives you the promises of God's Word and you don't like to "Walk by faith."
  10. To the Doctor, you are just another customer. To the Pastor, you are a part of the family. He loves you. He prays for you. He helps carry your burdens. He laughs with you and cries with you.

You are important to your Pastor. PRAY FOR HIM DAILY!!

Tuesday, October 25, 2005

Pumpkin Carving

This is in no way an endorsement of Halloween, but just a cool little flash program. It allows you to try your hand at carving a pumpkin. Just click on the word "pumpkin" and give it a try.

Monday, October 24, 2005

Side By Side

They lie on the table side by side,
he Holy Bible and the TV guide.
One is well worn and cherished with pride,
Not the Bible . . . but the TV guide.

One is used daily to help folks decide,
No, not the Bible . . . but the TV guide.
As the pages are turned, what shall they see,
Oh, what does it matter,turn on the TV.

Then confusion reigns, they can't all agree,
So they open the book in which they confide,
No, not the Bible . . . but the TV guide.

The Word of God is seldom read,
Maybe a verse as they fall into bed.
Exhausted and sleepy and tired as can be,
Not from reading the Bible . . .from watching TV.

So then back to the table side by side,
Lie the Holy Bible and the TV guide.
No time for prayer, no time for the Word,
The plan of Salvation is seldom heard.

But forgiveness of sin, so full and free,
Is found in the Bible . . . not on TV!!!

(Author Unknown)

Sunday, October 23, 2005

Oakland Ministry Team


Revival Services got underway this morning at Oakland Baptist Church in Fort Walton Beach, Florida. Services will continue at 6:30pm nightly through Wednesday. Oakland Baptist Church is located at 118 Wright Parkway, NW in Ft. Walton Beach.

Pictured are (left to right) Interim Pastor Ernest Walker, Associate Pastor/Minister of Music Danny Adkison, Music Leader Graham Boutwell and (front) Evangelist James Croft.

Saturday, October 22, 2005

Friday, October 21, 2005

Oakland Baptist Revival Services

Please be in prayer for these services.

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Is There Ever A Good Time?

"Hurricane Rita, this is like the 9th hurricane out this season. Maybe this isn't the time to take God out of the Pledge of Allegiance." --Jay Leno

"Would there ever be a good time to take God out of anything?" --Evangelist James Croft

Quieting the Church Gossip

Janet, the church gossip and self-appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence.

She made a mistake however, when she accused George, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon.

She emphatically told George and several others that anyone seeing it parked there would automatically know what he was doing. George, being a man of few words, stared at her for a moment, then just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend or deny. He said absolutely nothing.

Later that evening, George quietly parked his pickup in front of Janet's house... walked home... and left it there all night.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

710

How about a joke?

A few days ago I was having some work done at the local Ford Dealership. A blonde came in and asked for a seven-hundred-ten. We all looked at each other and another customer asked, "What is a seven-hundred-ten?"

She replied, "You know, the little piece in the middle of the engine, I have lost it and need a new one." She said that she did not know what it was but this piece had always been there.

He gave her a piece of paper and a pen and asked her to draw what the piece looked like. She drew a circle and in the middle of it wrote 710. He then took her over to another car, which had its hood up and asked, "Is there a 710 on this car?"

She pointed and said, "Of course, it's right "there."

Monday, October 17, 2005

Picture Puzzle

A pastor sent this picture puzzle to me today. Try to find the difference between the two pictures. They are almost exactly alike except for one difference. If you have good eyes you should be able to see it right away.

http://members.home.nl/saen/Special/zoeken.html

Friday, October 14, 2005

Living in 2005

You know you are living in 2005 when...

1. You accidentally enter your password on the microwave.

2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.

3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of 3.

4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.

5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.

6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.

7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen.

8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't have the first 20 or 30 (or more) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.

10. You get up in the morning and go online before getting your coffee.

11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. 8 -)

12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.

13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to send this message.

14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.

15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list.

AND NOW U R LAUGHING at yourself.

Thursday, October 13, 2005

World's Smallest Churches?















Check out these "small" churches http://www.roadsideamerica.com/set/church.html.

Some of these might be just the right size for a 3'10" tall evangelist! 8-)

Wednesday, October 12, 2005

Shiloh Baptist on Sunday

I'll be preaching for Pastor Mark Driskell this Sunday, October 16th at Shiloh Baptist Church. The services begin at 11am & 7pm. Please be in prayer for these services and for Brother Mark and his family to have a wonderful vacation.

Shiloh Baptist Church is located at 173 SW Shiloh Way near Fort White, Florida.

Tuesday, October 11, 2005

What Goes Around Comes Around

This is a nice story that has been around the web for some time, I think it may have even been the theme of a song some time ago. I hope you enjoy it.

He almost didn't see the old lady, stranded on the side of the road, but even in the dim light of day, he could see she needed help. So, he pulled up in front of her Mercedes and got out. His Pontiac was still sputtering when he approached her.

Even with the smile on his face, she was worried. No one had stopped to help for the last hour or so, was he going to hurt her? He didn't look safe; he looked poor and hungry.

He could see that she was frightened, standing out there in the cold. He knew how she felt. It was that chill which only fear can put in you.

He said, "I'm here to help you, ma'am. Why don't you wait in the car where it's warm? By the way, my name is Bryan Anderson."

Well, all she had was a flat tire, but for an old lady, that was bad enough. Bryan crawled under the car looking for a place to put the jack, skinning his knuckles a time or two. Soon he was able to change the tire, but he had to get dirty and his hands hurt.

As he was tightening up the lug nuts, she rolled down the window and began to talk to him. She told him that she was from St. Louis and was only just passing through. She couldn't thank him enough for coming to her aid.

Bryan just smiled as he closed her trunk. The lady asked how much she owed him. Any amount would have been all right with her. She already imagined all the awful things that could have happened had he not stopped. Bryan never thought twice about being paid. This was not a job to him. This was helping someone in need, and God knows there were plenty who had given him a hand in the past. He had lived his whole life that way, and it never occurred to him to act any other way.

He told her that if she really wanted to pay him back, the next time she saw someone who needed help, she could give that person the assistance they needed, and Bryan added, "And think of me."

He waited until she started her car and drove off. It had been a cold and depressing day, but he felt good as he headed for home, disappearing into the twilight.

A few miles down the road, the lady saw a small cafe. She went in to grab a bite to eat, and take the chill off before she made the last leg of her trip home. It was a dingy looking restaurant. Outside were two old gas pumps.
The whole scene was unfamiliar to her. The waitress came over and brought a clean towel to wipe her wet hair. She had a sweet smile, one that even being on her feet for the whole day couldn't erase. The lady noticed the waitress was nearly eight months pregnant, but she never let the strain and aches change her attitude. The old lady wondered how someone who had so little could be so giving to a stranger. Then she remembered Bryan.

After the lady finished her meal, she paid with a hundred dollar bill. The waitress quickly went to get change for her hundred dollar bill, but the old lady had slipped right out the door. She was gone by the time the waitress came back. The waitress wondered where the lady could be. Then she noticed something written on the napkin. There were tears in her eyes when she read what the lady wrote: "You don't owe me anything. I have been there too. Somebody once helped me out, the way I'm helping you. If you really want to pay me back, here is what you do: Do not let this chain of love end with you."

Under the napkin were four more $100 bills.

Well, there were tables to clear, sugar bowls to fill, and people to serve, but the waitress made it through another day. That night when she got home from work and climbed into bed, she was thinking about the money and what the lady had written. How could the lady have known how much she and her husband needed it? With the baby due next month, it was going to be hard. She knew how worried her husband was, and as he lay sleeping next to her, she gave him a soft kiss and whispered soft and low, "Everything's gonna be all right. I love you, Bryan Anderson."

Monday, October 10, 2005

Another Game

Here's another game for you to try.

The directions are below because they are in French on the site.

http://bassel.free.fr/jeux/canadair.swf

Directions:

Reduce speed with your 'left' arrow so that you're in the blue section of the speed arc. (right arrow key increases speed).
Up and down arrow keys work the stick - "up" pushes the stick forward.
Kiss the water GENTLY so that you don't crash and the water tanks will fill automatically.
Avoid the birdies.
Press the space-bar to release the water over fire.

Sunday, October 09, 2005

Fun With Words

1. A bicycle can't stand alone because it is two-tired.
2. What's the definition of a will? (It's a dead giveaway).
3. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. In democracy it's your vote that counts; In feudalism, it's your count that votes.
6. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.
7. She had a boyfriend with a wooden leg, but she broke it off.
8. If you don't pay your exorcist you get repossessed.
9. With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.
10. Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I'll show you A-flat minor.
11. When a clock is hungry it goes back four seconds.
12. The man who fell into an upholstery machine is fully recovered.
13. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
14. You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.
15. Local Area Network in Australia: the LAN down under.
16. He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.
17. Every calendar's days are numbered.
18. A lot of money is tainted. 'Taint yours and 'taint mine.
19. A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.
20. He had a photographic memory which was never developed.
21. A plateau is a high form of flattery.
22. The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
23. Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
24. When you've seen one shopping center you've seen a mall.
25. Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.
26. When an actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she'd dye.
27. Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
28. Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses.
29. Acupuncture is a jab well done.

Saturday, October 08, 2005

Best In Show

The Baker County Fair is underway in Macclenny, Florida and will continue through next Saturday, October 15th. My employer New River Solid Waste Association received a First Place and Best In Show award in the Commercial Division for our fair booth exhibit. The booth "sports" a football theme. The blue "Iggy the Igloo" is wearing a Baker County Wildcat football helmet and is taking on the Trash Can on a football field that is carpet made from recycled soda bottles. The sideline bench is made from recycled plastic bottles and recycled tires. The cheerleaders have hair, dresses & pom-poms made of recycled newpaper. The "50" at mid-field and the "G" on the goal line are also made from recycled newspaper. The goal posts are made from recycled aluminum cans and the Press Box above the stadium and the football on the bench is made from recycled cardboard. The players sitting on the bench are made from steel cans, plastic bottles & cardboard. The stadium will be filled with photos of children taken during the week.

The goal of the exhibit is to educate & encourage citizens to join the "recycling team" to help save landfill space, save natural resources & energy and maintain a good environment for future generations. We have been made stewards of this planet and we should do all we can to protect God's creation.

The design & construction of the exhibit was also a team effort by Recycling Technicians David McKinney, Donnie King, Paul Johnson, Daryl Caine, Bartow Lee and yours truly.

Friday, October 07, 2005

Answers to "A Simple Test"

Here are the answers to Wednesday's post called "A Simple Test".

  1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in? Answer: If you overtake the second person and you take his place, you are second!
  2. If you overtake the last person, then you are...? Answer: How can you overtake the LAST person?
  3. Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator. Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total? Answer: Did you get 5000? The correct answer is actually 4100.
  4. Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter? Answer: Did you Answer Nunu? NO! Of course it isn't. Her name is Mary. Read the question again!
  5. A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done. Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants? Answer: He just has to open his mouth and ask!

How did you do?

Thursday, October 06, 2005

It's Slinky! It's Slinky!

I recently received this joke from a friend:

"Some people are like Slinkies ....Not really good for anything...... But they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs. "

I was always fascinated by the simple but yet complicated toy. After reading the joke I did a web search for Slinky. I actually found a website about the toy with some really cool things. You can check it out at http://slinky.org/. It features some scientific info about the toy and even a wav file of the old Slinky song!

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

A Simple Test

How about a simple little test? I'll post the answers on Friday.

  1. You are participating in a race. You overtake the second person. What position are you in?
  2. If you overtake the last person, then you are...?
  3. Very tricky arithmetic! Note: This must be done in your head only. Do NOT use paper and pencil or a calculator.
    Take 1000 and add 40 to it. Now add another 1000. Now add 30. Add another 1000. Now add 20. Now add another 1000. Now add 10. What is the total?
  4. Mary's father has five daughters: 1. Nana, 2. Nene, 3. Nini, 4. Nono. What is the name of the fifth daughter?
  5. A mute person goes into a shop and wants to buy a toothbrush. By imitating the action of brushing his teeth he successfully expresses himself to the shopkeeper and the purchase is done.
    Next, a blind man comes into the shop who wants to buy a pair of sunglasses; how does HE indicate what he wants?

A "Numbers" Game

Check out this link: http://digicc.com/fido/. I think you'll find it interesting and mind boggling!

I know there must be a mathematical methodology in play, but I have no idea what it is. If you know, let me know. 8-)

Tuesday, October 04, 2005

Pumpkins & Christians

I received this in an e-mail today.

A woman was asked by a coworker, "What is it like to be a Christian?"

The coworker replied, "It is like being a pumpkin. God picks you from the patch, brings you in, and washes all the dirt off of you. Then He cuts off the top and scoops out all the yucky stuff. He removes the seeds of doubt, hate, and greed. Then He carves you a new smiling face and puts His light inside of you to shine for all the world to see."

Monday, October 03, 2005

Manntown Congregational Holiness Added to Schedule

I have been asked to preach "Pastor Appreciation Day" at Manntown Congregational Holiness Church on Sunday, November 13, 2005. The service is in honor of the church's pastor David Hodges. The service will begin at 11am.

Manntown Congregational Holiness Church is located on Highway 125 south of Glen St. Mary, Florida. For more information call (904) 259-8258.

Sunday, October 02, 2005

Barney Revival a Blessing

The revival services at Barney First Baptist Church (Georgia) ended last night. I must say the services were certainly a blessing to me. Everyone showered the ministry team with love, friendship and hospitality. We all made some great friends during the week.

I also want to thank Pastor Keith Wise for receiving us so well into his new pastorate. Brother Keith has only served at the church for about 7 weeks. The services were set up by the Interim Pastor, Charlie Scarborough, who is a dear friend of mine.

Here are a few photos of the ministry team from the services.





My friends Cheryl Kent & Kevin Owen from Olustee, Florida led the music on Wednesday night.





















Lori Bennett, a member of Barney First Baptist, blessed our hearts with special music on Thursday & Saturday nights.














John Croft, my brother from White Springs, Florida, & Kevin Owen led the music Thursday through Saturday night.

















Here I am, sporting a shirt made for me while in Ghana, West Africa, preaching on Saturday night.

Saturday, October 01, 2005

An Engineer's Thought Process

To the optimist, the glass is half full.
To the pessimist, the glass is half empty.
To the engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be.

What is the difference between Mechanical Engineers and Civil Engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and Civil Engineers build targets.

Normal people believe that if it ain't broke, don't fix it."
Engineers believe that "if it ain't broke, it doesn't have enough features yet"

Friday, September 30, 2005

Coffee Bean Man

This is a a neat little photo in that somewhere in the coffee beans is a man's head. Can you see it?













If you need a hint or the answer send me an e-mail.

Thursday, September 29, 2005

2 Continents & 1 Friendship

During our 2003 & 2004 Ghana, West Africa Mission Trips one of our team members, Jon Fletcher, formed a great friendship with Isaac Adjei, a member of Zion Evangelistic Ministry. Jon is a professional photojournalist in Florida and Isaac works on video projects & photography in Teshie, Accra.

Jon and his wife, Kristie, have a daughter named Klara. Last year they had their second child, a boy, and they named him Isaac after their Ghanaian friend. This year, Isaac and his wife, Joyce, had their first child, a girl, and they named her Klara after their American friend's daughter.

So, now we have:

2 friends,
2 Klara's,
2 Isaac's, on
2 different continents.

One great friendship on two different continents: PRICELESS!









Klara & Isaac Fletcher - United States

















Klara Adjei - Ghana, West Africa

Wednesday, September 28, 2005

25 Questions: Answers

Here are the anwers to the 25 Questions posted a couple of days ago. After you add up how many correct answers you have, share the number with us by clicking on comments below.

Here's the answers:

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
Answer: Bottom

2. How many states are there in the USA?
Answer: 50

3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
Answer: Right

4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
Answer: Blue, red, white, yellow, black, & gold

5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
Answer: 1 and 0

6. When you walk does your left arm ! swing with your right or left leg?
Answer: Right

7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
Answer: 20

8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
Answer: Red

9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
Answer: 88

10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
Answer: Clockwise (north of the equator)

11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
Answer: Towards bottom right

12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
Answer: 12 (no #1)

13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
Answer: Left

14. Which way do fans rotate?
Answer: Clockwise as you look at it

15. How many sides does a stop sign have?
Answer: 8

16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
Answer: Left

17. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
Answer: 5

18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
Answer: 6

19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
Answer: Bashful

20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
Answer: 8

21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
Answer: Ace of Spades

22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
Answer: Left

23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
Answer: "*" and "#"

24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
Answer: 3

25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?
Answer: Counter

I got 17 right!!!

How'd you do???

Barney Services Begin Tonight

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

Two Lines

This is a funny joke? 8-)

When everybody on earth was dead and waiting to enter Paradise, God appeared and said, "I want the men to make two lines. One line for the men who were true heads of their household and the other line for the men who were dominated by their women. I want all the women to report to St Peter."

Soon, the women were gone and there were two lines of men. The line of the men who were dominated by their wives was 100 miles long, and in the line of men who truly were heads of their household, there was only one man.

God said, "You men should be ashamed of yourselves. I created you to be the head of your household. You have been disobedient and not fulfilled your purpose. I told you to be the spiritual leader in your family. Of all of you only one obeyed. Learn from him. Tell them, my son, how did you manage to be the only one in this line?"

The man replied, "I don't know, my wife told me to stand here."

Monday, September 26, 2005

25 Questions

Here are 25 questions about things we see every day or have known about all our lives. These simple questions are harder than you think-- it just shows you how little we pay attention to the commonplace things of life.

No looking around! No getting out of your chair! No using anything on or in your desk or computer! Write down your answers as you go. I'll post the correct answers in a couple of days.

REMEMBER - NO CHEATING!!! BE HONEST!!!

Answers are based on United States info.

LET'S JUST SEE HOW OBSERVANT YOU REALLY ARE.

1. On a standard traffic light, is the green on the top or bottom?
2. How many states are there in the USA? (Don't laugh, some people don't know)
3. In which hand is the Statue of Liberty's torch?
4. What six colors are on the classic Campbell's soup label?
5. What two numbers on the telephone dial don't have letters by them?
6. When you walk does your left arm ! swing with your right or left leg? (Don't you dare get up to see!)
7. How many matches are in a standard pack?
8. On the United States flag is the top stripe red or white?
9. What is the lowest number on the FM dial?
10. Which way does water go down the drain, counter or clockwise?
11. Which way does a "no smoking" sign's slash run?
12. How many channels on a VHF TV dial?
13. On which side of a women's blouse are the buttons?
14. Which way do fans rotate?
15. How many sides does a stop sign have?
16. Do books have even-numbered pages on the right or left side?
17. How many lug nuts are on a standard car wheel?
18. How many sides are there on a standard pencil?
19. Sleepy, Happy, Sneezy, Grumpy, Dopey, Doc. Who's missing?
20. How many hot dog buns are in a standard package?
21. On which playing card is the card maker's trademark?
22. On which side of a Venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?
23. There are 12 buttons on a touch tone phone. What 2 symbols bear no digits?
24. How many curves are there in the standard paper clip?
25. Does a merry-go-round turn counter or clockwise?

The answers will be posted on this Blog in a couple of days, but don't look up any answers in the meantime. We are going on the Honor System. 8-)

Saturday, September 24, 2005

Columbia Baptist Tomorrow

I will be preaching Homecoming Service at Columbia Baptist Church tomorrow (Sunday, September 25th) at 11am. Special music will be provided by Kevin Owen & Cheryl Kent.

Columbia Baptist Church is located on State Road 47 near Columbia City, Florida.

Please be in prayer for this service.

Friday, September 23, 2005

How Smart Is Your Right Foot?

A friend e-mailed this to me and it's true for me. How about you?

1. While sitting at your desk, lift your right foot off the floor and make clockwise circles.

2. Now, while doing this, draw the number "6" in the air with your right hand.

Your foot will change direction.

Please don't ask me to explain this. 8-)

Thursday, September 22, 2005

The Nail

As the story goes, they built a new church building and people came from far and wide to see it. They admired its beauty! Up on the roof, a little nail heard the people praising everything about the lovely structure-except the nail! No one even knew he was there, and he became angry and jealous.

"If I am that insignificant, nobody will miss me if I quit!" So the nail then released its hold, slid down the roof, and fell in the mud.

That night it rained and rained. Soon, the shingle that had no nail blew away, and the roof began to leak. The water streaked the walls and the beautiful murals. The plaster began to fall, the carpet was stained, and the pulpit Bible was ruined by water. All this because a little nail decided to quit!

But what of the nail? While holding the shingle, it was obscure but it was also useful. Buried in the mud it was just as obscure, but now it was useless and would soon be eaten up by rust!

The moral of the story-EVERY MEMBER IS IMPORTANT TO THE CHURCH! You may, like the nail, feel obscure at times, but just like the nail, your absence is felt. When you are not present for worship, in some way the body of Christ hurts. We are ALL a part of the Lord's ministry.

Author Unknown

Where will you be on Sunday?

Shiloh Baptist Added To Schedule

I have been asked to preach in supply for Pastor Mark Driskell of Shiloh Baptist Church next month while he is out of town. I will be preaching the morning (11am) & evening (7pm) worship services on Sunday, October 16, 2005.

Shiloh Baptist Church is located at 173 SW Shilooh Way near Fort White, Florida.

Please be in prayer for these services and for the Driskell family to have great time of rest and relaxation.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

See You at the Pole Day

"See You at the Pole" Day was held at Lake Butler (Florida) Elementary School this morning before students went to class. I was honored to be asked to participate in the event this morning. I talked to the students & teachers that voluntarily gathered around the school's flag pole about David & Goliath. I told students that God often uses children (like David) to do "big" things for Him. I encouraged students to take a stand for God whenever they are faced with some of the "giants" that come our way in our life. We then closed with a prayer asking God to use us as He did David.

In the photo above a student is selected to play the role of David as I play the role of Goliath (I was perfect for the role with me being a "giant").

For information about "See You at the Pole" visit http://www.syatp.com/.

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

Pecans in the Cemetery

On the outskirts of a small town, there was a big, old pecan tree just inside the cemetery fence. One day, two boys filled up a bucketful of nuts and sat down by the tree, out of sight, and began dividing the nuts.

"One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me," said one boy.

Several dropped and rolled down toward the fence.

Another boy came riding along the road on his bicycle. As he passed, he thought he heard voices from inside the cemetery. He slowed down to investigate.

Sure enough, he heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me." He just knew what it was.

He jumped back on his bike and rode off. Just around the bend he met an old man with a cane, hobbling along. "Come here quick," said the boy, "you won't believe what I heard! Satan and the Lord are down at the cemetery dividing up the souls."

The man said, "Beat it kid, can't you see it's hard for me to walk."

When the boy insisted though, the man hobbled to the cemetery. Standing by the fence they heard, "One for you, one for me. One for you, one for me..."

The old man whispered, "Boy, you've been tellin' the truth. Let's see if we can see the Lord."

Shaking with fear, they peered through the fence, yet were still unable to see anything. The old man and the boy gripped the wrought iron bars of the fence tighter and tighter as they tried to get a glimpse of the Lord.

At last they heard, "One for you, one for me. That's all. Now let's go get those nuts by the fence and we'll be done."

They say the old man made it back to town a full 5 minutes ahead of the boy on the bike.

Monday, September 19, 2005

"Talk Like A Pirate Day"?

A friend of mine sent me an e-mail today informing me that it is "Talk Like A Pirate Day"! I have never heard of this before so I followed the link she sent to me to the official website: http://www.talklikeapirate.com/piratehome.html. It is a rather funny story how it began. Newspaper columnist Dave Berry brought it to the national scene with his column in 2002. You can read the column at this link: http://www.miami.com/mld/miamiherald/living/columnists/dave_barry/4018055.htm.

This certainly is not a Christian based holiday, but it is a funny story.

Arrr, I hope you have a great "Talk Like A Pirate Day" and if you don't you may be forced to walk the plank. Shiver me timbers that's no fun a'tall.

Hey, what if we had a "Talk & Walk Like Jesus Day" (which should be every day)?!?! I think the Gospel of Jesus Christ would be shared with the lost of the world very quickly if born-again believers would truly talk & WALK like Jesus EVERY DAY and not just on Sunday!!!

NOTE: You never know what you may read on the "Walking With The Giant" blog!!!

Sunday, September 18, 2005

Serious Prayer?

This little story is funny, but it has a serious message.

A man was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn't find a parking place. Looking up toward heaven, he said "Lord, take pity on me. If you find me a parking place I will go to church every Sunday for the rest of my life and give up drinking."

Miraculously, a parking place appeared.

The man looked up again and said "Never mind. I found one."

Friday, September 16, 2005

An Organized Life

Two senior ladies met for the first time since graduating from high school. One asked the other, "You were always so organized in school, did you manage to live a well planned life?"

"Oh yes," said her friend. "My first marriage was to a millionaire; my second marriage was to an actor; my third marriage was to a preacher; and now I'm married to an undertaker."

Her friend asked, "What do those marriages have to do with a well planned life?"

She answered, "One for the money, two for the show. three to get ready and four to go!"

Thursday, September 15, 2005

Good Advice


An Old Farmer's Advice

* Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.

* Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.

* Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.

* A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor.

* Words that soak into your ears are whispered...not yelled.

* Meanness don't jes' happen overnight.

* Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.

* Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.

* It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge.

* You cannot unsay a cruel word.

* Every path has a few puddles.

* When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.

* The best sermons are lived, not preached.

* Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway.

* Don't judge folks by their relatives.

* Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.

* Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time.

* Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none.

* Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.

* If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'.

* Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.

* The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'.

* Always drink upstream from the herd.

* Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment.

* Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in.

* If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around.

* Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

(Author Unknown)

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

"See You At The Pole"

I have been asked to present a brief devotion next Wednesday, September 21st. for the annual "See You At The Pole" Day at Lake Butler Elementary School in Lake Butler, Florida. The event will begin at 7:30am at the school's flag pole.

Please be in prayer for this ministry opportunity.

"Friend Day" Scheduled in Tallahassee

I will be preaching a "Friend Day" service at New Life Baptist Church in Tallahassee, Florida on Sunday, October 30, 2005 at 11am. This will also be their Homecoming Service. For more information call Pastor Eric Tinsley at (850) 877-2215.

New Life Baptist Church is located at 3625 Woodville Highway in Tallahassee, Florida.

Tuesday, September 13, 2005

A Neat Story

A man's car broke down as he was driving past a beautiful old monastery. He walked up the drive and knocked on the front door. A monk answered, listened to the man's story and graciously invited him to spend the night.

The monks fed the man and led him to a tiny chamber in which to sleep. The man thanked the monks and slept serenely until he was awakened by a strange and beautiful sound.

The next morning, as the monks were repairing his car, he asked about the sound that had woken him. "We're sorry," the monks said. "We can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk." The man was disappointed, but eager to be gone, so he thanked the monks for their kindness and went on his way. During quiet moments afterward, the man pondered the source of the alluring sound.

Several years later, the man happened to be driving in the same area. He stopped at the monastery on a whim and asked admittance. He explained to the monks that he had so enjoyed his previous stay, he wondered if he might be permitted to spend another night under their peaceful roof the monks agreed, and so the man stayed with them again. Late that night, he heard the strange beautiful sound.

The following morning he begged the monks to explain the sound. The monks gave him the same answer as before.

"We're sorry we can't tell you about the sound. You're not a monk."

By now, the man's curiosity had turned to obsession. He decided to give up everything and become a monk; for that was the only way he could learn about the sound. He informed the monks of his decision and began the long and arduous task of becoming a monk.

Seventeen years later, the man was finally established as a true member of the order.

When the celebration ended, he humbly went to the leader of the order and asked to be told the source of the sound. Silently, the old monk led the new monk to a huge wooden door. He opened the door with a golden key. That door swung open to reveal a second door of silver, then a third of gold and so on until they had passed through twelve doors, each more magnificent than the last. The new monk's face was awash with tears of joy as he finally beheld the wondrous source of the beautiful mysterious sound he had heard so many years before..........

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But, I can't tell you what it was. You're not a monk.

Monday, September 12, 2005

Where Does Jesus Live?

A Sunday School teacher of preschoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred for real. He asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?"

Steven raised his hand and said, "He's in heaven."

Mary was called on and answered, "He's in my heart."

Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know, I know! He's in our bathroom!!!"

The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. Finally, he gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this.

Little Johnny said, "Well...every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells, 'Good Lord, are you still in there?!"

Sunday, September 11, 2005

Ft. Walton Beach Added to Schedule

Revival services at Oakland Baptist Church in Fort Walton Beach, Florida have been scheduled for October 2005. Services will begin on Sunday morning, October 23rd at 11am and will continue at 6:30pm nightly through Wednesday, October 26th. I will be preaching each service and the music will be under the direction of Graham Boutwell.

For more information call Associate Pastor Danny Adkison at (850) 243-8722. Oakland Baptist Church is located at 118 Wright Parkway in Fort Walton Beach, Florida.

Friday, September 09, 2005

Unique


Place your mouse on the X below and drag to the O.

X Even though you can't see Him, GOD is there! O

Wednesday, September 07, 2005

Saturday, September 03, 2005

Biloxi Photos

Photojournalist Jon M. Fletcher of the Florida Times-Union newspaper in Jacksonville, Florida has just returned from Biloxi, Mississippi. He spent a week there taking photos for the newspaper. You can view some of these photos at www.jonmfletcher.com/hurricane.

Jon traveled to Ghana, West Africa with our team in 2003 and 2004. Some of his photos from the Ghana trips can be viewed on my website at www.jamescroft.org.

Please remember to pray for everyone that was impacted by Hurricane Katrina as well as those that are helping with relief efforts.

FBC Glen St. Mary Today

I will be preaching in supply for Pastor Tim Patterson at First Baptist Church of Glen St. Mary, Florida tomorrow (Sunday). Services will begin at 11am & 6pm. Please be in prayer for these services.

Thursday, September 01, 2005

Balloonist

A man in a hot air balloon realized he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. He descended a bit more and shouted,” Excuse me, can you help? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The woman below replied, "You are in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You are between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the woman. "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is technically correct, but I have no idea what to make of you, and the fact is I am still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help so far."

The woman below responded, "You must be in management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the woman, "you don't know where you are or where you are going. You have risen to where you are, due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise which you have no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault!"

Monday, August 29, 2005

Time For Church

One Sunday morning, a mother went in to wake her son and tell him it was time to get ready for church, to which he replied, "I'm not going."
"Why not?" she asked.
I'll give you two good reasons," he said. "One, they don't like me, and two, I don't like them."
His mother replied, "Now I'll give YOU two good reasons why YOU SHOULD go to church. (1) You're 49 years old, and (2) you're the pastor!"

Saturday, August 27, 2005

Goat For Dinner?

The young couple invited their elderly pastor for Sunday dinner. While they were in the kitchen preparing the meal, the minister asked their son what they were having. "Goat," the little boy replied. "Goat?" replied the startled man of the cloth, "Are you sure about that?" "Yep," said the youngster. "I heard Dad say to Mom, 'Today is just as good as any to have the old goat for dinner.'"

Thursday, August 25, 2005

Bible Brain Twister Answers

On Saturday, August 20th I posted a Bible Brain Twister word search on this site. Unfortunately, the original sender did not include the author of the puzzle and it contained the final book name needed to complete the word search. I e-mailed the original sender and he replied with the answers and apologized that the author's name was not included in the forward that I had received. I am reposting the word search here with the answers highlighted.

I must admit that I found 16 within about 30 minutes and have been searching for the 17th ever since. I have received e-mails and even telephone calls requesting the answers. It is exciting to see how many people got so involved in the Biblical word search. You know, we might find studying the Bible just as exciting if we would approach it the way we have approached this puzzle. 8-)

Bible Brain Twister
By (John) Kezer
I once made a re(mark) about the hidden books of the Bible. It was a lu(lu, ke)pt people loo(king s)o hard for f(acts), and for others it was a (revelation). Some were in a (jam, es)pecially since the names of the books are not capitalized, but the t(ruth) finally struck home to (numbers) of readers. To others, it was a real (job). We want it to be (a mos)t fascinating few moments for you. Y(es, ther)e will be some really easy ones to spot. Others may require (judges) to help them. I will quickly admi(t it us)ually takes a minister to find one of the 17, and there will be loud (lamentations) when it is found. A little lady says s(he brews) a cup of tea so she can concentrate better. See how well you can com(pete. R)elax now, for there really are the names of 17 books of the Bible in these sentences.

A Twenty and a One

A well-worn one-dollar bill and a similarly distressed twenty-dollar bill arrived at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired. As they moved along the conveyor belt to be burned, they struck up a conversation. The twenty-dollar bill reminisced about its travels all over the country. "I've had a pretty good life," the twenty proclaimed. "Why I've been to Las Vegas and Atlantic City, the finest restaurants in New York, performances on Broadway, and even a cruise to the Caribbean" "Wow!" said the one-dollar bill. "You've really had an exciting life!" "So tell me," says the twenty, "where have you been throughout your lifetime?" The one dollar bill replies, "Oh, I've been to the Methodist Church, the Baptist Church, the Lutheran Church..." The twenty-dollar bill interrupts, "What's a church?"