Church Definitions

Choir: A group of people whose singing allows the rest of the congregation to lip-sync.

Hymn: A song of praise, usually sung in a key three octaves higher than that of the congregation’s range.

Jonah: The original “Jaws” story.

Justice: When your children have kids of their own.

Pew: A medieval torture device still found in many Churches.

Ten Commandments: The most important Top Ten list not produced by David Letterman.

Ushers: The only people in the church who don’t know the seating capacity of a pew.

NOTE: Have one you would like to add, click "comments" below.